Poisoning the kids against a parent

It has been a few years, and it is a classic case of “poisoning the kids against a parent”.

Parental alienation, lawful or otherwise, can have life-long consequences for the children who are forced, through no fault of their own, to be stuck in the middle. When the ‘primary’ (or financially able) parent demands that the children take his or her side, and get caught up in the lies being brought to the court, what choice does a small child have but to oblige. A boy of just 4-years-old has no understanding when it comes to the complexities and complications of divorce or custody battles.. He knows only loyalty to the one parent able to demand it of him. 

That would be unheard of nowadays and I don’t understand why it was allowed at the time. I would really like my children to know that I love them, that I wanted to fight for them, and that I tried. I was backed into a corner by a bitter ex-wife and her team of lawyers, and the legal system as a whole. 

As of 2017, according to British Law —

The phenomenon where one parent poisons their child against the other is known as parental alienation, the ultimate aim of which is to persuade the child to permanently exclude that parent from their life. Cafcass said it had recently realised parental alienation occurred in significant numbers of the 125,000 cases it dealt with each year.

Divorcing parents could be denied contact with their children if they try to turn them against their former partner, under a “groundbreaking” process being trialled by the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass).

This law should be passed in Canada to protect children and their parents. I’m just sorry it wasn’t around when I was fighting for my kids. Now they are all grown up and it’s too late.

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting
Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton
Poisoning the kids against a parent
I have no way of contacting my kids

Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton

I know it has been a few years, but this came up when I was throwing out papers from my storage unit. I came across the letters to my lawyer regarding my divorce and was shocked to see a letter stating that I had “threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton” (Link to letter shoot). So, with “perfect” legal advice, and brainwashing well underway, I couldn’t even offer to help, or even ask my kids what could be done if I wanted to take them to MacDonald’s for a happy meal. Add to this the damaging (and GROSSLY UNTRUE) statement to the children “your dad does want to see you”. (Letter about fear) The kids were officially poisoned against me. I had/have no legal or logical recourse neither then nor now. I tried with this letter to the court.(Link to letter.reply)  With any issue during a child young age these types of action have an effect on their later views on relationships, marriages, and life. That’s part of my justification for this web posting. The kids are grown enough to have already suffered so much damage, but they don’t need to go on forever believing that their father deserted them willingly.

POLAK, McKAY & HAWKSHAW did a great job of taking away a dad’s kids. They could have a sogan , HAWKSHAW & McKAY….We make Dad go away!. The legal masters of how to poison the kids. The other issue is about the Law Society of Ontario (previously Upper Canada Law Society)  and their lack of regulation for liars or sorry lawyers. How is it that a criminal act against a woman – “Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton ” wouldn’t require a report from the lawyer to the police? If it wasn’t true and therefore unworthy of a police report, why is it part of a custody hearing? Another issue I had was that one of these letters to my lawyer wasn’t even signed, and the other was a faint squiggle. Is this ok? Should it have been my lawyer’s responsibility to ask me about my alleged threat to shoot the mother of my children in between asking to take the kids to the park to play?

It’s perfectly understandable that I’m less than impressed with the behaviour of my ex wife,Carol, and the use of her lawyer “N. CAMERON MURKAR“. People who look up either name will now have an opportunity to read about what they have done.

Children are very easily manipulated and deserve their OWN representation away from the watching eyes of vengeful divorcing parents. I specifically requested that lawyers represent my children..to no avail. Why wasn’t anyone checking in on my children when their father was allegedly threatening to shoot their mother? Why wasn’t someone who wasn’t biased toward one parent asking my children about their relationships with their parents without their mother sitting nearby, arms crossed, expecting them to parrot the words and opinions she had forced upon them? When a custody battle turns ugly, or is anything but 100% FRIENDLY, the children need their own representation, and mine should have had that right. The outcome could have been very different, and they may not have lost a loving parent’s presence while they were growing up.

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting
Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton
Poisoning the kids against a parent
I have no way of contacting my kids

I have no way of contacting my kids

I have no way of contacting my kids. My ex-wife, their mother, Carole has succeeded in poisoning my kids, even going so far as convincing them and the courts that I threatened to shoot her. Oddly enough, the threat wasn’t quite credible enough to ever get police involved. I do not own a gun, nor at any time did hold, point, or even MENTION a gun. But the kids were 5 and 11 years old when, after a number of staged events, my wife and the conveniently placed neighbours, convinced them to be afraid of their father. At the time I believed that, over time, as they got older they would reach out. My son did a bit – but no further contact. My daughter hasn’t even heard my voice since she was 11. 20 years later, my children have not contacted me, nor will they allow any facebook, cell phone, direct, or indirect communication at all.

When this whole saga reached it’s breaking point, I went right along with it because I didn’t have any choice. I didn’t have a cent for a lawyer, and it was clear that the few rights myself and my children had, were being forgotten and/or ignored. I was at a huge disadvantage, despite having been home to raise my children and provide a safe and loving home. I was the one who picked them up from school, made lunch, and took them out to the playground, parks and McDonald’s. I was a deejay at night, but my wife basically brought home the bacon. I took care of the children just the way any mother (or father) who was available during the day would. I had all of the responsibilities and none of the rights, all because my wife made more money and could afford a fancy (and corrupt) legal team. The financial power dynamic swung a particular way, and suddenly I was broke with little or no hope of access to my own children.

As you will see in the “Legal” section, my ex claimed that I threatened her with a gun, and set up neighbours to watch me get upset when I came to collect my children and she refused. As I read further into the yellowed divorce documents, I saw a pattern of not asking the kids if they would like to see their dad, but rather statements that the kids did not want to see their dad because they were afraid of me.(Link to letter.shoot)  She convinced the kids that they should be afraid of me. After all that happened, even if I had been handed visitation rights, my wife had already robbed me of my kid’s trust- the most sacred thing a parent can have, so what good would a piece of paper do?

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting
Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton
Poisoning the kids against a parent
I have no way of contacting my kids

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting

Editor’s Notes

I recently went through decades of paperwork in search of my divorce papers. I lost my children when they were young, and it had recently occurred to me that I might be able to post my story online in order to reach out to them and let them know what really happened back then. I wasn’t able to contact them as they were growing up, but technology has at least made it possible that they might find this one day. I’ve tried contacting my daughter, but after so many years, she wants nothing to do with me. This is my last resort. There was briefly some contact with my son, but it was before I had those divorce papers in my hands, and was reminded of the lies my children and the courts were told. They deserve the truth, and they deserve to know that their father didn’t walk away willingly. With any luck, my kids or someone they know will Google them one day and come across this little autobiographical piece. This information may be new to them, likely will not correct their opinion about me, nor would I expect them to call me all of a sudden. Information posted on the web lives forever. This isn’t a solution by any means, and it’s many years overdue, but at least the truth is out there, and this is cheaper than any therapy I could afford to provide for the kids.

I was a dedicated and loving father until I wasn’t allowed to be, and my wife had the money and resources to destroy me in court.

It is my hope that other fathers in similar circumstances will see this post and be made aware of how quickly and easily their family can be taken from them- and if it has already happened, they are not alone. They system needs to change and these lawyers need to take responsibility for their actions. And mothers who CAN demonize a loving father just because they can afford the lawyers, doesn’t mean they should actually go ahead and do it. I lost the opportunity to watch my children grow up and they lost a loving father over nothing but lies and manipulation.

My children don’t deserve to spend their entire lives thinking their father doesn’t care, or that he was the horrible person their mother made him out to be. I was just a father who wanted to take my kids to the park and wasn’t allowed.

Divorce Paul Murton – Why Am I Posting
Mr. Murton threatened to shoot Mrs. Murton
Poisoning the kids against a parent
I have no way of contacting my kids